Friday, February 27, 2009

..an asthma girl is inlove with mr.smoker

JEROME TAMBUNTING..

tall.
moreno.
a CERTIFIED SNOB.
the bonnet guy.
the bad boy.
my wildest dream.
my love.
my newest happiness.

he spells T.R.O.UB.L.E:

he smokes. (maybe he thought its 'astig')
he drinks.(i do too.)
he use illegal drugs (his friends do, so therefore i conclude he also does )
he's in a band(they play in bars and all.)
he has a lot of girls. (well, no need to say. its SO obvious)
he hates gays. (boys.!)
and lastly,

HE IS THE MOST SNOBBISH YET MOST HANDSOME GUY IVE EVER MET..

whooh..!!

i like him..

i have a crush on him..

im crazy about him..

give me one month,

and im definitely inlove with him..

he's the guy my mother tells me to avoid..

but his enigmatic ayes tells me otherwise..

Sunday, February 22, 2009

..flightless bird- 'its just me.!'

ok, malungkot aq.. malungkot na malungkot..

ilang araw n nga aqng umiiyak eh..

i feel and look like a fool..

nsa jip aq, bigla nlang mangingilid luha q..

nsa simbahan aq, kumakanta ng 'ama namin', naiiyak aq..

langyah, muka na qng tanga eh..!!

i feel so useless..

a TRASH..

un aq..

mula ng pasukin q ung chenes na un,

lahat n nang kind of stress naranasan q..

physical stress,
mental stress,
at higit sa lahat,
emotional stress.,.

ewan q bah,

hirap palang maging debater na hindi magaling..

i dont want to adjudicate,
i dont want to do reply speeches,

i want to DEBATE..

i really want to..

and im trying my best.

damn it..!!

naiinis aq sa sarili q..!!

damn..!!

kung matagal n qng ngquit sa debsoc,

cguro di q nararanasan mga stress na toh..

cguro hndi aq nasasaktan ngayon..

pero ewan q bah,

i cant and i dont want to quit..

cguro masokista talaga aq..

cguro matigas talaga ulo q..

cguro gusto q talaga yung napapahiya aq at
pinamumukha sakin na isa aqng average. mediocre. ordinary. run of the mill.

wala aqng panama sa iba qng mga kasama..

tsk.

valedictorian ung isa, scholar nmn c centrum..

eh aq..?

section 6 out of section 8 nga aq nung 4th yr high school aq eh.,.

hai, rants.rants.rants..

puro nlang aq rants..

kelan kya magkakaroon ng sense mga sinasabi q..??

worse than anthrax and SARS..

“Love is complicated thing when it comes to you.”

That is just a mushy line taken from a tagalong pocket book that I read out of boredom. I used to read tons and tons of pocketbooks when I was in elementary and early high school. But I realize how shallow I must be so I stop reading those books and transferred to English fiction books which, if not can give me scientific and moral lessons, at least can sharpen my English skills. It is just as what I’ve already said awhile ago that out of boredom that I was able to read a tagalong pocketbook again and I’m surprised on how frigid and masochistic I turn out to be.. Frigid because I don’t feel anything while reading the supposed to be romantic texts in the book. I just read it. I was able to absorb things that are In there but they weren’t able to appeal in my emotions- Except that one statement that I’ve read in one of the endless pocketbooks that my classmates feed to me.

Love is a very complicated thing. I know that. Everybody knows that. Whoever thought that love is a simple thing is either a player or doesn’t really love at all. But what appeal to me is not love being a complicated thing but love being complicated for a certain person. And I think I am the one that line is pertaining about.

I love. God knows how much I love deeply. But that love, wasn’t always reciprocated to me. It is always a one sided love wherein the person I am giving my heart to is either not aware of my feelings for him, already found his better half, which unfortunately is not me, or simple a person who needs to fix himself first before he can find the courage to love again.

Call me bitter, battered, or anything else that you can comprehend, but after those endless, (yes, I can’t count them anymore) one sided love that I felt, I just cant love anymore. Yes I have crushes, lots and lots of crushes, but they are just front liners. its just so that I can say that I have somebody whom I adore. But really, they doesn’t appeal to any of my senses.

Maybe my being battered in the game of love is the reason why my heart now is under a major renovation. I don’t allow anybody to penetrate to my senses until I am fully okay. My friends tell me that the reason why im still loveless is because I set a barrier between me and love. I think that’s a positive thing. For I will know that he is really the one meant for me if he take the initiative to climb into the wall that ive made and reach for my heart. If that time came, I think I will be able to convince myself to try again in the game of love. But until that fateful day came, I will continue to be a battered and bitter person that I today and I will continue to read pocketbooks in the hope that it will awaken the sleeping emotion here in my heart..


“How do you heal a broken heart?..”